What Happens When It's Over
by jsi959
Summary: Clare's sick. So how will she deal? And more importantly, how will the people around her deal, including her new boyfriend? The clock's ticking, and she only has so much time to do it all. Told from Clare's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

I wake up on a regular Tuesday morning with a smile on my face. I had a dream about Eli again, but this time we were kissing on the beach instead of an empty classroom.  
Then I remember what Tuesday means. Today after school, I have to go get a CT scan for my head.  
It all started when I was younger. I've always had headaches, but a few months ago they got unbearable. I was missing school, no medication could help.  
Finally my mom took me to the doctor about a week ago when it got so bad that I missed school for three days in a row. Now they need to check for a brain tumor.  
As scary as that is, what's even scarier is the thought of losing the life I am leading. I am happy now, really happy, for the first time in so long.  
After my parents split up, I thought everything would change for the worse. I thought I would be so sad after the divorce was final, not have anything good in my life.  
Then Eli kissed me.  
He was giving me a ride home from school, and Morty broke down, and he was fixing it and I was helping, and then he kissed me.  
Needless to say, we started going out, and here we are, four amazing months later. Of course Adam is still our best friend, but Alli has joined our group too.  
I felt bad when Adam was a third wheel, but now we have a fourth.  
Everything is perfect, even with my dad gone.  
But now he has to come back for my appointment. I know it's stupid, but I'm worried he and my mom will fight. He's still mad because my mom has full custody of me, but that's the way I wanted it so he tries to deal. I finally get up out of bed and throw on some sweats. I'm not going to school so I don't even try to look nice.  
Eli knows I'm missing today, but he doesn't know why. He thinks I just have a routine check up. I don't want to worry him for nothing if the test comes out negative.  
I hear my mom yell "Clare hurry up, we're leaving in ten minutes and you still have to eat!"  
"I'm not hungry, mom," I reply.  
I hear her sigh and retreat into the kitchen.  
I slowly run a brush through my hair as I go through all the usual 'what-if's' in my head.  
What if I have a brain tumor? What if I die? What if I lose everything and everyone I love?  
Somehow I still force myself out of my room.  
Time to go learn my fate.


	2. Chapter 2

About a half hour after my CT scan, my parents and I are all sitting in the doctor's actual office.  
The room is silent and there is so much tension I could cut it with a scalpel. "So, I've never been in the doctor's actual office," I point out, trying to make conversation.  
My parents both just nod. The whole time they've just looked from me to their hands, then they steal sideways glances at each other when they think no one is looking.  
But I am, and I need my parents to be able to get along, especially if...  
My thoughts are interrupted by my phone vibrating in the pocket of my sweats.  
It's a text, from Eli!  
"hey babe, back from the doc yet? i was thinking i could skip 8th and we could go hang in the park?"  
I smile and am about to reply when the doctor comes in. I quickly throw my phone back into my pocket and sit up straight, anxious to hear the news.  
The doctor sighs as he walks in, then sits down at his desk, throwing my file down on it.  
"I have some bad news. We did find a tumor, and it's inoperable. Whether it's benign or not, it's in an extremely dangerous place. Surgery would be impossible but we have noted signs that tell us it will continue to enlarge," he explains.  
"English, please?" my mom asks moodily.  
He folds his hands across the desk and looks me straight in the eyes. I gulp and take a deep breath, mostly because I know what's coming.  
"The prognosis is... eventual... death," he says and looks at my mom.  
I look at my lap and let the tears fall freely down my face. I hear my parents both sniffling on either side of me.  
"How long?" I mutter.  
"That sort of thing is hard to predict. A few months? I suggest... preparing soon. It could be sudden. Now, can I please have a few moments alone with Clare?" he asks.  
Still not looking up, I hear my parents leave, shutting the door behind them.  
"Clare, I want to help you with this. I want you to know that I am here for you, but I also need to explain a few things you may not want to hear. Is that alright?" he asks and pauses for my reply.  
I nod and finally meet his stern glance. He pushes a box of tissues towards me before continuing.  
"The headaches will get worse. I can prescribe an extremely strong pain killer but that may not even help enough. That's why... there's something else. I know you're young, but I am legally allowed to prescribe you medical marijuana, or weed. Are you interested?"  
I think for a second, then nod again.  
May as well try it before I die, right?  
An hour later, I'm sitting at home. My parents are downstairs talking about... me and, you know, everything.  
I sit on the floor in my room and stare at the bag of weed in my hand.  
Then I pick up my phone and call Eli, knowing he just got out of school.  
"Clare! I was worried!" he answers.  
"Hello to you, too," I joke.  
"Sorry. Hi sweetie, how are you?"  
"Fine."  
"So... can I come pick you up?"  
"Please do. My dad's over and I want to get out of here."  
"No prob. Be there in five?"  
"Can't wait," I say and hang up.  
I hop up and throw on a denim skirt and red tank top, then walk downstairs.  
I see Morty coming down the street so I grab a black cardigan and yell "be back in a while!" to my parents as I leave the house.  
When I see Eli's face everything hits me, but I try not to cry.  
There's something I, well we, have to do before I tell him.  
Geez, when did I start having a bucket list? 


	3. Chapter 3

As Eli and I pull up to the park, I take off my seatbelt quickly and slide over onto his lap. I smile and then lean in and kiss him pationately.  
"Woah, Clare, what's this all about?" Eli asks when I come up for air.  
"I love you," I tell him for the millionth time.  
"I love you, too, babe," he says and we kiss some more.  
"Can we... have sex?" I ask quitely.  
"Really?"  
"Mhm. I really want to."  
"But I thought you were going to... wait."  
"But I love you, and I want you, and I don't want to wait anymore. Please?"  
"If you're sure... then yes."  
He slides me off his lap and gets out, then walks over to the passengers side and opens my door.  
He takes my hand and helps me out of the car.  
"Thanks," I whisper.  
We walk around to the back of his hearse and he opens the door, then signals with his hand for me to go in first.  
I climb in and take off my shoes and sweater as he follows and shuts the door.  
I lean in to kiss him and help him take off his jacket.  
When We are both sitting there in only our underwear, he grabs his wallet and pulls out a condom.  
"You're sure about this?" He asks again.  
"100% positive," I reply with a smile.

Once we're done, we lay under a warm fleece blanket Eli found, him holding me.  
When I start to think about what's going to happen I begin to cry.  
"You okay?" Eli asks worriedly.  
"Yeah, just a lot of emotions right now," I lie.  
"We shouldn't have done this."  
"No, they're happy tears, I promise!"  
"Good. So, there's nothing like sex to make you starving..."  
"The Dot?"  
"It's like you read my mind. I'm glad things aren't... weird."  
"Me too. Hand me my skirt?"  
He picks it up and starts to hand it to me when a bag falls out of the pocket.  
Crap, crap, crap! I think, not realizing I had brought that.  
I reach quickly to pick it up, but Eli beats me to it.  
"Clare, is this... weed?" He asks quiet as a mouse.  
"Eli, look, I can explain..." I begin.  
"Clare I never thought you would be this kind of person. I was in this before, and trust me, it's no good. I watched my best friend die because of..." he stops and his eyes fill with tears.  
I jump over and hug him but he pushes me away.  
"No. Not if you're going to be some sort of... druggie now."  
"Eli I am so sorry about your friend. How can I tell you my secret when yours is so hard?" I say.  
"Tell me Clare. Please."  
"I have a... problem."  
"A DRUG problem? Because if you do..."  
"NO! Not anything like that, I swear."  
"Then what is it? You're driving me crazy!"  
"I have... a tumor."  
"Wha...?"  
"A brain tumor. They gave me weed for the pain."  
'"Are you going to..."  
"Die? Yes."  
By now we both have tears streaming down our faces. He puts the bag down and now it's his turn to hug me.  
We lay down and he holds me while we cry together.  
"How long?" he finally chokes out.  
"They don't know. A few months, probably," I tell him.  
We continue to cry for a while until I eventually just drift off into a deep sleep, dreaming about a happy future with my boyfriend. 


	4. Chapter 4

I wake up still in Eli's arms. I can feel his hot breath on my neck and his legs wrapped around mine. Scared to wake him, I don't move, just think.  
Leaving Eli will be the worst thing that could happen to me, but at least he has other friends. Alli can take my place in our group since she and Adam have started hanging out. If I'm lucky, maybe they'll all just forget I ever existed.  
I don't want to die. As much as I can waste my time thinking about others, it's time for me to ask myself the ultimate question; why the hell is God doing this to me? Can there really be a God if he gives a 16 year old girl a fatal brain tumor? I'm glad I had sex with Eli, not only because I'm not going to make it to marrying anyone, but also because I don't want to follow His rules anymore. If God's going to kill me, I'm going to make sure I have a hell of a lot of fun before I go, and not even He can stop me.  
Suddenly Eli moves. He takes his arms off me and stretches them out with a yawn.  
"Why hello there, sleepy head," I greet him.  
"You been up long?" he asks, still half asleep.  
"Only for a few minutes," I admit with a smile.  
"Woah, when did it get so dark out?"  
"Crap, what time is it?"  
"Uh, 9:30," he says looking at his phone.  
"Wow it's late."  
"We should get you home, your parents are probably worried."  
"Eli, it's not like much worse can happen to me. I'm pretty sure my only rules now are 'don't do anything illegal.'"  
"At least call," he says as he looks down at his hands, obviously upset by my comment.  
"Fine," I say defeated as I pull over my skirt and grab my phone out of it.  
I call my house and no one answers so I leave a quick message saying I'm going to sleep over Alli's.  
"Better?" I ask after I hang up.  
"Much," he says and leans in to kiss me.  
I push him away after a few seconds and say "what are we going to do all night?"  
"Anything you want," he tells me.  
"Wanna get high?" I joke and hold up the bag.  
"Clare, that's for you, and I'm never going near that shit again."  
"I was kidding Eli, I know you don't want to. We could have sex again!"  
"Clare, as nice as it sounds, I don't just want to spend the next few months in your vagina."  
"Ugh, I'll call Alli you call Adam. They can meet us here and I can tell them what's... going to happen while you go get a pizza."  
"Sounds good to me!"

Twenty minutes later Adam and Alli meet us in the park. Alli runs over and hugs me with a huge smile on her face. "Clare, Clare, Clare! Guess what!" she practically screams as Adam waves hello to me.  
"What is it, Alli," I ask annoyed as Eli kisses my cheek and gets into his hearse. I see him telling Adam to stay, and suddenly I feel bad for Adam having to listen to Alli's girl talk all the time.  
"GUESS WHO'S PREGGO!" Alli yells.  
"Who?" I ask, only half interested.  
"Jenna Middleton!"  
"And how do you know?"  
"I was kind of... there."  
"You watched Jenna concieve her baby?"  
"NO! When she took the test, silly! Now KC is going to get what he deserves!"  
"Wait, why are you friends with Jenna?"  
"Clare, you aren't getting the point. She's having KC's baby! So what if I'm her friend!"  
"So I'm freaking dying, and you're running around with Jenna freaking Middleton?  
"Dying? What are you talking about?"  
Oh God, this is not how I wanted to do things. 


	5. Chapter 5

After explaining everything, Alli and I both let out tears fall freely while Adam visibly struggles not to sob along with us. Eli gets back just as we are pulling ourselves together. He brings over a pizza and four sodas.  
"I hope plain's good," he says as he opens the box.  
"Perfect," I reply, looking at his face.  
He is trying to avoid eye contact, and once I finally get it I know why.  
His eyes are red and teary. He had been crying.  
"Eli, can I talk to you real quick?" I ask and nod to his hearse.  
He nods back and we walk over together. Once in the front seat, I begin talking after a few silent moments.  
"Is everything okay?" I ask him as he looks out the window, hands gripping the steering wheel even though we weren't going anywhere.  
"No, Clare. How can everything be okay? I told you what happened to my best friend, and you know about Julia, and now you? Does everyone I love have to die?" he practically screams at me.  
"It's not about you, Eli. This is all out of your control. We have a few months to be together, so stop crying and love me. As of now, that's all you can do. Would you rather make me un happy by moping and crying all day?"  
"Clare, you know I love you, it's just hard."  
"Sometimes love is hard."  
"Close your eyes," he tells me with a smirk on his face.  
I smile back and close my eyes softly, anxious for his touch, when suddenly I feel his arms brushing around my neck, a cold, metal chain wrapping around it.  
"Open," he tells me. I touch my neck and feel a necklace on it, then look at him and notice the absence of one on his neck.  
I smile and look at the window, seeing my reflection, wearing his necklace.  
I continue smiling, even as the tears fall down my cheeks.  
He leans over and kisses my tears away, then kisses my lips, my neck.  
My arms wrap around the back of his neck and his hands are in my hair.  
We are kissing more when suddenly there's a knock on the window, taking us out of our own little world.  
I look over as I'm wiping my lips and see Alli, staring at us with her most annoyed look.  
I pat my hair down in the back as Eli and I separate, him also looking slightly annoyed.  
I open the door and get out, even more annoyed than them both combined.  
"Yes, Alli?" I ask through clenched teeth.  
"KC and Jenna alert," she whispers.  
"So...?"  
"I kind of... told Jenna what you told me. She just called and it all just slipped out and now they're here."  
"You WHAT?"  
Suddenly two arms wrap around my body from the back.  
"Aw, Clare Bear, I am so so sorry!" Jenna's annoying little bitch voice tells me.  
"I don't care, Jenna. This is none of your business. Get away from me," I reply angrily.  
"But Clare, we can talk! You have a brain tumor and I'm having a baby! We can go to the doctor together!" She smiles brightly.  
"NO, Jenna, go home, and take your dumb little lap dogs with you," I tell her as I stare at KC and Alli.  
"Fine, but you will want to talk soon, Clare, I know it!" she says as they all walk away.  
Alli looks back at me for a second, then looks at her new friends and keeps walking. I know who she chooses. 


End file.
